


You Can't Tell Me to Regret

by AirFireWaterEarth



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, I also don't know much about everyone else in Scepter 4, I made Saruhiko a little more nuts than necessary, Loosely though, M/M, MIKOTO AND TATARA DON'T DIE, Most definitely errors, Soul Bond, b/c idk much about HOMRA members tho, magicians au, this is a learning experience
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-07-06 02:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15876237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AirFireWaterEarth/pseuds/AirFireWaterEarth
Summary: If he were to sit down and point out all the things he regretted doing in life, he'd be there all day. But, Misaki thinks, he'd definitely start with not staying home that night and instead taking up a fight with Saruhiko.Because it was all downhill from there.





	1. Amongst the Things We Can't Fix is This

Kusanagi set down the box that held their most recent JUNGLE Niffin. 

 

“They’re getting more powerful,” he sighed.

 

Misaki picked up the box to observe it. He wasn’t able to make runes or anything, but he liked at look at them. It was something about the feeling he got from them.

 

“Careful. He’ll leave it all up to you to get it back in if you let it out,” Tatara warned.

 

Misaki rolled his eyes and set it down. “Yeah, yeah, I’m not gonna do anything.”

 

Misaki sat down on the couch as he waited for the other members to come back--- particularly their leader, Mikoto. He was apparently away making a deal with the head of the  _ council enforcers  _ of all people. JUNGLE was more of a problem than he realized, Misaki guessed.

 

“Ack, those things are spreading like the plague.” Misaki groaned, “Why’re they even doing this? Don’t creatures like that have a whole ‘humans are soooo weak’ complex?”

 

Kusanagi responded, “I don’t know. My guess is that it’s easy muscle, but something about them tells me it’s more than that. ‘Specially because we don’t know what they’re for.”

 

Easy muscle seemed a good enough reason to Misaki, but he wasn’t good at strategy type things. That was all Kusanagi.

 

Tatara looked over at Misaki and contemplated for a moment.

 

“What?” Misaki pushed. It was very much unlike Tatara to  _ withhold _ a comment.

 

“It’s just that,’ Tatara paused, “Yata, you and Fushimi---”

 

“I don’t want to hear that traitor’s name,” Misaki growled.

 

Tatara couldn’t care less. “You and Fushimi aren’t natural magic users. That makes you two part of JUNGLE’s target demographic. Your special abilities would make you some powerful JUNGLE Niffins.”

 

Misaki laughed. “Don’t worry about me. Those assholes wouldn’t be able to get close. I’ll burn them alive.”

 

Tatara sighed. Anna came trotting down the stairs and went to get food from Kusanagi. Greetings were made and the young girl got her lunch and sat at the bar. Right before she put her food in her mouth, she paused and turned to look at Misaki. 

 

She was a seer, and because of that, had this ever-knowing look in her eye. It always made Misaki uncomfortable when the look was specifically aimed at him.

 

“Be careful. JUNGLE has plans.”

 

Then she went to eating her lunch. Tatara shot Misaki a victorious look and Misaki stuck his tongue out at him. 

 

Kusanagi, who had been looking at his phone, clicked it off.

 

“After Anna finishes her lunch, we’re visiting the Scepter 4 Headquarters. We’re not going in, just waiting. Apparently there’s something to be discussed.”

 

Misaki scowled. What was so important they were stopping by that dumb place? Plus, he’d be seeing that stupid monkey. There was no place be wanted to go less.

  
  


* * *

 

He knew he was staring. In fact, Saruhiko wondered if he secretly wanted to get caught.

 

He continued to watch the amber haired boy observe Munakata and Mikoto’s conversation, overly suspicious. Misaki’s relatively small frame stood tense as he rolled the skateboard under him back and forth, ready for anything.

 

He definitely wanted to get caught. The urge to confront him snaked like poison in his veins. It wasn’t really plausible--- there were too many people there to keep him from getting to anything good, but it didn’t stop the yearning.

 

Saruhiko knew he should be more concerned; the day hedge witches and trained magicians made a truce was a cold day indeed. And here they were. Being high up the food chain, Saruhiko knew a few things, but the full truth of problem lied in the hands of master magicians. And those same hands were shaking in completion of the agreement. 

 

A new threat flooded the community--- what was thought to be a hedge group labeled ‘The Green Clan’ turned out to be an inhuman cult from a pocket dimension called ‘JUNGLE’ and was somehow spreading throughout the city. Normal non-magician or non-hedge citizens were becoming... something else. JUNGLE Niffins.

 

JUNGLE Niffins were an odd type of niffin that JUNGLE created. Niffins were beings whose souls were made completely of magic Unlike usual niffins, their hosts were normal, nonmagic wielding people. This meant they were made of a weak magic, for the most part, but pure magic. They didn’t look human either. They had green pulsing from their bulging veins. Their eyes were glazed over, but not unseeing.

 

_ A headache _ , Saruhiko labeled it. If it’d been up to him, he would have rejected becoming part of anything magic related and continued to live without such complications. But it hadn’t been up to him. His eyes wandered back to Misaki and that hunger clawed at his chest again. This time eyes were met. Misaki sneered and Saruhiko’s pulse quickened.  _ Yes _ . He smirked and tilted his head up. Misaki tilted his head down in return. 

 

Saruhiko glanced at the master magicians and their respective groups. He got a pointed look from Awashima as a result. He glanced back to Misaki who was getting similar looks from Kusangi. Saruhiko’s eye twitched for bit and he clicked his tongue. What a waste. 

 

Then he realized each groups were walking towards each other. He followed.

 

“Today we make a truce, to ensure success to our joint cause,” Munakata declared.

 

Mikoto spoke less eloquently. “How about we play nice with these assholes so we can get rid of those Greens?”

 

Still, Mikoto got a much more enthusiastic response, started by Misaki of course. 

 

He couldn’t wait to feel that same enthusiasm--- in form of blazing flame and hatred. 

 

Kusanagi eyed him. Saruhiko flinched just a bit, his mind flashing back to when he’d gotten a bit too drunk and spilled his guts to that guy. Thus far he hadn’t said anything, but Saruhiko wasn’t sure what he’d do if Kusanagi did. 

 

Each side bowed (Scepter 4 a bit more accurately than HOMRA’s half hearted attempt) and walked away. Saruhiko didn’t glance back. He would stalk and stare and obsess, but he would never look back.

 

:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:

 

Misaki lamented back at HOMRA “I don’t get why we have to work with those stupid Blues. We're powerful enough on our own, why do we need those guys?”

 

It was a questioned ignored by Mikoto. Kusanagi answered instead, wiping down the counter of his precious bar.

 

“This isn’t a one man job, Yata. JUNGLE isn’t a joke.”

 

Misaki groaned and leaned back.

 

“But did you see that damn monkey?” Misaki whined, “We were just  _ standing  _ there and he was going to say somethin’ to get him blasted.”

 

Kusanagi look up pointedly from under his glasses.

 

“Saruhiko is  _ always _ trying to say something that’ll get you riled up.”

 

Misaki groaned.  _ Why? _ He didn’t get it. Saru was always saying some bullshit to get under his skin. Damn traitor just couldn’t let anything be.

 

Anna looked closely at Misaki. Then she announced. 

 

“Misaki misses his other half.”

 

Misaki couldn’t bring himself to be angry  _ at _ the young girl, but it didn’t stop him from looking away and spitting, 

 

“That damn traitor isn’t worth missing and he’s no part of  _ me _ .”

 

After the bar became uncomfortably silent, Misaki stood up and announced he was leaving. With that, he rolled down the city streets, back to his apartment.

When he walked in, he looked around. Misaki leaned his skateboard up against his wall and swallowed down the memory of when he lived in a different apartment, not too unlike this one now.

 

Except that one had another tenant. 

 

Nope. Not tonight. Misaki change his mind and the skateboard returned to his hand. He locked the door once more. Misaki’s hand shook a bit but he quickly pocketed the keys and sped off into the night.

 

* * *

 

Saruhiko’s patrol was a particularly boring one. There wasn’t even a petty crime by a normal civilian. That was fine. The quieter it was, the easier it was. Still, something about it was off. Like the calm before the storm. Then it caught his eye--- amber hair on a skateboard, zipping down the sidewalk. 

 

Saruhiko swiftly calculated a route that would lead him to be just a bit ahead of Misaki.  _ Finally.  _ Saruhiko’s chest subtly shook in cruel laughter and a smile crawled its way across his face. He quickened his pace. 

 

He heard the rolling of wheels from the other side of the building and he stepped out into the light of the lampost. Misaki stopped his board and hopped off.

 

“What’re you doing here,  _ monkey _ ?” he spat.

 

Saruhiko leaned back onto his heels a bit.

 

“Now, now Misaki, aren’t we supposed to be in a  _ truce _ ? Why the  _ cold _ greeting?” He sang.

 

Misaki growled, “Don’t call me that.”

 

Saruhiko pretended to pondered the request. “What? Oh, yes, I’m sorry! I forgot you don’t like that name. Mi~sa~kiii. I don’t understand why. Such a  _ pretty _ name.”

 

The head of Misaki’s board snapped into his palm. He rolled his shoulders back.

 

“Just ‘cause our clans are in a truce doesn’t mean  _ we _ can’t fight. You wanna go?” Misaki threatened.

 

There’s nothing he wanted more.

 

Saruhiko laughed and drew his sword.

 

Misaki faced his palms together, then pinched his middle fingers and thumb together, before he pulled them apart. Red flames spiraled out from the center.  _ Beautiful _ . The only shade of red Saruhiko would tolerate. Saruhiko cut the padding of his thumb on the blade of his sword and a drop of his blood caught on the blade. With that, a blue light was emitted. 

 

_ Enthralling. _

 

_ Alive. _

 

Anger and obsession clashed and entwined into a breathtaking violet emission. Saruhiko stayed light on his feet whilst whenever Misaki’s feet hit the ground they crashed into cement. Both allowed their flames to consume their figures and pushed and shoved at the opponent in front of them. 

 

“Already weakening, Misaki?” Saruhiko taunted.

 

“Not even close, monkey!” Misaki huffed.

 

Saruhiko made a near stab at Misaki’s throat, “Are you sure?”

 

Misaki spun around the edge of the blade and rubbed his palms together, entwined his fingers, yanked them apart and shoved the burst of flame at Saruhiko, causing the latter to stumble a bit backwards.

 

Misaki smirked, “Yeah.”

 

Saruhiko huffed out a few notes of laughter through his teeth. He pulled out one of his knives and watched Misaki skate around him in tight circles. A throw and a miss. His aim was worse with his left hand--- his right was holding his blade. A throw and… a nick. Misaki hissed a lost his formation. Saruhiko lunged and blue and red desperately collided. 

 

This time, the repel isn’t quite what was expected on either end. 

 

Instead, each flame melted into the other like they were fighting with water, not fire. It hurt too. Like multiple blades embedding themselves deep into his stomach. Judging by the look on Misaki’s face, this was no ace up  _ his _ sleeve. Both collapsed to the ground. He gasped for air and glanced around wildly for the culprit. Then he saw it. In front of him.  _ A JUNGLE Niffin. _

 

Unlike the other JUNGLE niffins, however, this one wasn’t weak. 

 

It stalked over to them and hissed.

 

“Yesss. Feel the beautiful  _ power _ .”

 

Another oddity: the JUNGLE Niffins thus far had never been able to speak. Saruhiko sneered and looked away. His main goal was to suppress his convulsions. Misaki, true to his character, tried to fight by snarling out expletives. He was also trying to summon his flame but kept fumbling.  _ Idiot. _

 

“You fucking freak!” Misaki snarled. He was able to correctly summon the flame, but yelped at the outcome. Instead of his beautiful red, flower-like flames were these spiraling violet tendrils. It didn’t just shock Misaki. The JUNGLE Niffin looked shocked as well.

 

“No!” It shrieked, “Mistake. Mistake, mistake, mistakemistakemistake. Punishment! Me, punished!”

 

It retreated as quickly as possible, into the shadows of the night. Saruhiko released a sigh of relief. The pain still insisted, but it was safe enough to call for backup.

 

Misaki moaned, “What did that bastard do to my fire?”

 

Moron. Saruhiko was sure Misaki was just as in pain as he was and still, that was his concern. Of course.

 

The call went through, but Saruhiko was barely able to explain a few details before his body officially gave out.

 

* * *

 

When Misaki woke up in the Scepter 4 headquarters (presumably their infirmary), he was less than pleased. The only reason he wasn’t jumping up and running out (maybe burning a few things on the way) was because Mikoto, Kusanagi, Anna, and even Tatara were in the room with him.

 

“What… happened?” he mumbled.

 

Scepter 4’s captain, Munakata, answered to his dismay.

 

“You were attacked by a JUNGLE Niffin, as reported by Fushimi. Unfortunately, we are unsure how you were affected or what injuries caused you two to pass out. It would be most helpful if you could relay the events.”

 

Misaki shifted his gaze from a glare at Munakata to a glance at Mikoto. A slight nod encouraged compliancy.

 

“Uh,” Misaki started, “I was… fighting with Saruhiko.” This earned him a glare from Kusanagi, “Hey! He--- agh, nevermind. Anyway we were fighting and then… there was a lot of pain. We saw that Niffin that started talking about power or whatever and I tried to summon my flame to fight back but---”

 

Misaki’s eyes widened at the memory.

 

“That damn JUNGLE Niffin did something to my flame! It made it look all weird. Though, I don’t think it was supposed to. It said something about a ‘mistake’ and ‘punishment’ and then it just… left.”

 

Anna chimed in, “Misaki’s red looks different.”

 

A silence fell around the room. Munakata looked deep in thought. In that moment, Saruhiko began to stir. Everyone turned to look at him.

 

“Hello, Fushimi. We’ve learned some very interesting information thus far. Do you have anything else to tell us?” Munakata asked.

 

Misaki wondered how it’d be possible for Saruhiko to know what ‘else’ there would be if he’d been asleep when it was discussed.

 

Saruhiko didn’t say anything. He just pulled out his hand and spun his hand and fingers in the circular formation he used to use before he started using his conductor--- his sword or knives. The same violet tendrils appeared.

 

“Ah, you too then.” Munakata confirmed, “Mikoto, if we could talk in the hallway.”

 

Mikoto glanced over a Munakata before straightening his back and following the latter into the hallway.

 

Once they were gone, Tatara spun to face Misaki at the speed of light.

 

“That was too close! You could’ve become a JUNGLE Niffin. After all, you and Fushimi are the only, well, you know.”

 

He meant that he and Saruhiko were the only naturally nonmagic humans that had joined the powerful hedge witches of HOMRA. They were just… dedicated. It was why they mostly only used flames; it was the easiest magic a normal person could use. Still, after guidance and honing of the ability, they managed to do what few could, magic user or not--- fuse their soul into their flames. Just like that, they’d become some of the most powerful hedge witches in HOMRA. Then that traitor went and joined Scepter 4. Not that he’d fallen in power ranking.

 

But that was beyond the point. What Tatara was trying to point out was that JUNGLE’s Niffins were normal people whose souls were overloaded with JUNGLE’s magic. Misaki and Saruhiko were susceptible to this practice.  

 

“Anyway, whatever happened was pure luck. Any other scenerio and you’d be gone! One of those JUNGLE zombies.”

 

Kusanagi craned his neck to look into the hallway where Mikoto and Munakata were discussing whatever happened.

 

“I wouldn’t call it luck. I have a hunch, but we’ll get a verdict soon enough.” he said. He went to light a cigarette but Anna shook her head.

 

“You shouldn’t smoke while we’re in the infirmary.” Anna lectured softly.

 

Tatara giggled and Kusanagi reluctantly put away his pack. 

 

Misaki tried to get out. He wasn’t attached to IV’s or anything he figured it was fine. He didn’t like being in one place for too long anyway. He turned to the side of the cot and pushed his body up to get off. Suddenly, his entire body cramped up and he yelped. Across the room, Saruhiko gave a low hiss. Misaki went to lay back down, watching Saruhiko from the corner of his eye. He was a bit pale and rubbing at his stomach. 

 

Mikoto and Munakata returned and Mikoto looked a bit amused. Misaki thought that Mikoto was a super cool, awesome, and powerful guy who could almost never do wrong--- but he knew that whatever was happening couldn’t be good if it  _ amused  _ Mikoto.

 

Munakata cleared his throat. 

 

“As both of you are aware, because I am sure you have spent much time and effort on this, your souls are embedded in your flame magic. This has made your magic very special, especially for nonmagicians,” a quick glance at Misaki, “Ah, I mean, nonmagic users. It’s also what protected you from whatever JUNGLE has been doing to create JUNGLE Niffins.

 

You see, when the Niffin went to fuse your souls with JUNGLE’s own magic, where it would undoubtedly have consumed you, the combination of both of your souls and your flames blocked its attempt.”

 

Misaki sighed in relief. He shuddered at the thought of being one of  _ those _ things. Saruhiko was not so at ease. 

 

“What happened our flames, then?”

 

Mikoto chuckled from across the room and both Misaki and Saruhiko paled.

 

Munakata sighed, “I don’t know why you find humor in this Suoh. This is a very serious matter. Unfortunately, JUNGLE’s magic is too strong not to have an affect. Simply too much raw power. When your flames--- and souls--- fought off JUNGLE’s magic, like when ice melts, your souls briefly weeknd and became malleable. 

 

Because you two were fighting and your flames were so close in proximity… well, your, for lack of better words,  _ melted _ souls bled into each other and when they strengthened and reformed again...  _ they _ were now an  _ it _ . One large soul that the two of you share.”

 

_ Oh, no _ .  _ Hell no. _

 

“Isn’t there a way to, like, melt it again and fix it?” Misaki squealed a bit indignantly. 

 

“Idiot,” Saruhiko countered, “They’re---  _ it’s _ a  _ soul _ . You can’t just simply fix it.”

 

“You could try!”

 

Tatara chimed in. “Actually… even  _ if _ you could recreate the amount of power it would take weaken your souls enough to be malleable--- which I wouldn’t recommend to begin with--- there wouldn’t anything to distinguish what was once your soul or Saruhiko’s. Even if we found a way to take a guess at what each one is--- which we’d never be able to, we’d never be able to completely separate them.”

 

Misaki slumped against his pillow, defeated.

 

“Well, what exactly does this mean?” he asked.

 

Munakata pondered for a second.

 

“Well, this is mostly speculation. The best record of something like this is a ritual done in ancient times. In order to prevent a lower class demon from destroying a group of peoples, they would bind the demon and a sacrificial human’s soul into one. Because it was such a hassle to figure out what part of the one large soul was theirs and the human’s, it would usually wait until the end of the human’s life to consume it.”

 

That all flew over Misaki’s head. Also, he was deeming Saruhiko’s soul as the demon soul in this case.

 

“So what does all that have to do with their situation?” Kusanagi questioned.

 

Munakata pushed up his glasses.

 

“This ritual was done to put restrictions on the demon, and subsequently the human. Using these, I’ve estimated the effects of your soul dilemma. Pain and emotions will probably be shared to an extent. I’m assuming pain will be more transferable than emotions. I also wouldn’t go too far from the other, if I were you. While it’s unlikely there are any true ramifications if, say, one of you left the country, it’s also unlikely the act would be anywhere near comfortable. Of course, our biggest concern is that, if one of you dies, the other will surely die as well.”

 

Well, there went that idea.

 

Mikoto sighed and went to leave the room.

 

“You two should be fine. Nothin’ big. Setting the bar at making sure neither of you die is pretty low. Im’ma get a drink.”

 

Munakata watched disapprovingly at Mikoto’s retreating figure.

 

“While I’m not going to say it’s ‘nothing big’, I do agree that you probably don’t have anything to worry about that you aren’t already worried about. Over the next week, we’ll be closely observing how the two of you truly react to this new… bond.”

 

Misaki shot up. The sudden movement caused a wave of pain to ripple down his body.

 

“Stop doing that!” Saruhiko hissed.

 

Misaki ignored him, “Wait, you’re saying I have to stay here for a  _ week _ ?”

 

Munakata gave a small smile and nodded.

 

“It’s the safest course of action, as both Suoh and I decided.”

 

Well, if Mikoto said agreed… Misaki looked over at Kusanagi who simply shrugged. Tatara lightly laughed and Anna walked toward Misaki’s bed. 

 

“You’ll be fine, Yata. It won't be long, and we’ll come to visit.” she assured.

 

Misaki lied back down. He turned his head to look at Saruhiko, who was staring blankly at his PDA. Already back to work, huh.

 

This week was going to be a pain in the ass.

 


	2. Amongst Your Worst Fears and Greatest Dreams are These

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every magical phenomenon must be tested for the safety of the individual(s). As well as the entertainment of the observer(s).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll get whiplash from the alternating perspectives, sorry. Least there's only two. Just changing very often.

The rest of the day and the next went relatively smoothly. Saruhiko was too exhausted to rile up Misaki in any way. He also felt somewhat content to be in the same room as him— an emotion that he suppressed now knowing how there was a link that made it transferable. In fact, there were a lot of things he was attempting to suppress due to the new developments. For instance, the wild satisfaction knowing his presence in Misaki’s life now had a searing permanence, regardless of adoration towards uncontrollable hedgewitch leaders.

The second morning was a different story. The pain was gone by the day before, likely something to do with the bond settling, so two days was clearly plenty of time to recuperate in the eyes of Munakata.

Saruhiko watched as a small vile of a substance was placed in front of Misaki. The color was a dark blue, with both black and gold specks. The tag on it meant it was a strong subconscious emotional stimulant. The color said it was a particularly negative one. He clicked his tongue,

“Trying to get Misaki to cry? It might be better just to show him Hachi.”

Misaki yelped in a mixture of anger and mild (comparatively) betrayal. Awashima gave him a glare and reminded him to be respectful.

“Duly noted,” Munakata responded, “A valuable experiment, perhaps. But we’ll start with the basics. Currently, we are trying to decide on the extent of your shared emotions. Today we will use Yata as the primary source and, tomorrow, Fushimi. This emotional stimulant will cause a thirty second window of an emotion five pain receptors below anguish. We will monitor this at all times, including the wellbeing of the primary recipient ensure this experiment is safe.”

Misaki did not look happy about it at all. Surprisingly, however, he accepted it and picked up the vile.

“So I drink all of it?” he asked.

“That is correct,” Munakata replied. “But we will remove Fushimi from the room to ensure no natural empathy interferes.”

______

Munakata lead Saruhiko out of the room and Misaki become both relieved and uncomfortable because of it.  
He didn’t like the guy. Munakata talked liked the gods had a gun both to his head and to everyone else's— calculated like his life was on the line if he said something wrong _and_ that he knew something no one else did.

The lieutenant Kusanagi referred to as the cold-hearted woman stayed with Misaki. She was stone-faced as she watched her com. Finally something blinked.

“It seems that Fushimi has been situated. You may take the subconscious emotional stimulant. Time will be monitored as soon and you begin showing symptoms.”

Misaki sighed and took the vile in a shot. He blinked for a second and glanced around in confusion right before he widened his eyes and began whimpering. Awashima started the timer. Suddenly, it felt like he couldn’t breathe, like some sort of board was being pressed against his chest with enough force to crush him. Tears were falling down his cheeks and he tried in vain to wipe them. Eventually, he gave it up and gripped his shirt. This was the longest thirty seconds he’d ever experienced. His chest felt sore by the time the feeling started to subside.

When Awashima announced ‘time’ it was gone. She handed Misaki tissue to which he begrudgingly took. Awashima suddenly got a message on her com that seemed to concern her. She glanced up at Misaki.

“Can I get a verbal affirmation that you are no longer experiencing the effects of the emotional stimulant?”

Misaki rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I’m all good.”

Misaki was starting to forget why he was in such pain, to begin with when Munakata came back into the room Saruhiko. Damn, how far away was the room? Right as Saruhiko made eye contact Misaki felt a spike of relief. Slowly, as Saruhiko went to sit down, Misaki realized it wasn’t his.

Munakata approached the other side of the table.

“As I’d suspected the subconscious emotional stimulant didn’t create a direct effect, as I believe the mental-emotional stimulant will cause. However, I had, ahem, under calculated the reaction. We will use a subconscious emotional stimulant less potent in tomorrow’s trials in order to produce a less… violent reaction on the other end.” Munakata eyed Saruhiko as he said it.

Misaki looked over at Saruhiko as well, but he refused to make eye contact with him.

____

The next experiment was with a stuffed bear— and thankfully less gut-wrenching than the last one. Misaki was to be given a bear, hold it for a bit, and then Saruhiko would be brought seven bears and he was to try and pick out which one Misaki held.

It was an admittedly smart experiment, Saruhiko thought as he glanced over the seven years. They weren’t identical. Some were black, others brown or grey. They varied slightly in size and sometimes held various items. Saruhiko’s eyes fell on the bear somewhat on the left side. It had button eyes and brown fur and held a little heart over its white belly. Saruhiko picked it up and waved it at Munakata. Munakata smiled and clicked the timer off, writing notes as he did so.

“I don’t suppose you want to talk about what happened before?” Munakata asked without looking up.

Saruhiko snorted in response.

“I’ll take that,” he finished writing, “as a no.”

Saruhiko toyed with the heart on the bear he was holding and squeezing it as small as it could go before watching it expand again. He smoothed out the wrinkles. 

The first test with the subconscious emotional stimulant was now a fading memory— the emotions he felt during that time felt more like a dream than anything as most experiences with magically induced emotions did. But the sound of his own screams rang in his ears and the bruise on the unfortunate person restraining him definitely wasn’t. Saruhiko wasn’t sure he’d be able to deal feeling someone else’s distress and feeling so… scared. And vulnerable. It was something that even thinking about made him cringe. Everything in his mind was his and solely his own. It’d been like that for so long— more so than normal people could understand.

It wasn’t always like that.

A little voice in Saruhiko’s subconscious whispered those words. Misaki, it seemed, had a way of getting around that. Both naturally and in a potentially dangerous magical mishap. But he did. As he stared at into the little bear’s button eyes, Saruhiko’s mind spun to a different time— a different world.

A world with dingy apartment out in the whirl of the city. Where the only furnishings were repaired trash. Where the only residents were two naive kids that thought they were adults— kids that desperately wanted to learn magic and defied everything they were told when they did.

The farther down the rabbit hole he went the more he realized someone else was watching with him. Nothing definitive, just a feeling he wasn’t alone in there. Saruhiko quickly abandoned every thought as he’d taught himself to do since he burned those times to ash.

Saruhiko scratched at his wrist, where a burn mark of the hedgewitch group laid prominent. There were keys beneath it going all the way up his arm to his shoulder signifying his rank. These he simply cut large x’s into to ensure they scarred.

“Are we finished here, Fushimi? You may keep the bear if you want to.”

Saruhiko shot his head up to face Munakata and attempted to casually put down the bear on the table without looking embarrassed. He got up and headed through the door. He was tired of being led places. Saruhiko worked here for gods’ sake.

He shook off the sad feeling from the fact that he hadn’t kept the bear.

____

“Y-y-ou, huh? Th-this, this…. no!” Misaki stuttered out.

Munakata simply smiled (an evil one considering the circumstances) and proceeded to play the movie with a brief explanation.

“This will be our last test of the day. Fushimi brought up a good point— a sad movie is an easy conscious emotional stimulant.”

Misaki watched the opening scenes play with more resolve.

“Yeah? Well, you’ll have to try something different after this because I’ll be fine.”

…Misaki watched the end scenes play receiving more tissues from Awashima.

“He-he didn’t leave! Wh-who fed him? Or brushed him? Did they brush him? They didn’t b-br-brush him! I don’t think anyone pet him either!” Misaki sobbed.

Awashima, despite being teary-eyed herself, looked a bit concerned. Misaki frowned and turned away. He didn’t feel like being judged right then.

Saruhiko was led back in by Munakata and explained the results were very subtle, more a change in demeanor than a reaction. Saruhiko was, apparently, able to note that Misaki but wasn’t all that affected himself.

Misaki felt a little let down by this, as he went through this pain and embarrassment to discover it barely affected this so-called other half. Still, he wasn’t necessarily surprised. It sounded just like the bastard.

He pretended not to remember earlier, that subtle nostalgic sensation that Misaki couldn’t help but sink into. It was warm and familiar with memories that he tried to push away. And then he was pushed out, by a force he recognized as someone else. The only other possible person to do something like that.

Munakata and Awashima left the room to discuss the last experiment, which apparently needed full approval from the overseeing officers, excluding Saruhiko.

“I don’t see why he does this,” Saruhiko muttered, “he always gets what he wants. It’s just for show.”

Misaki looked over at him curiously.

“So he’s difficult to work under?” Misaki asked.

Saruhiko snorted, “Of course. Just not as difficult as Mikoto was.”

Misaki shot up from his seat on the couch.

“Listen here! No one talks about Mikoto like that. Especially not you, after everything—“

“— he’s done for me,” Saruhiko waved a hand at him, “You can never say anything original, can you? Just Mikoto this, HOMRA that. Where did your life go?”

Misaki rolled up his sleeve to reveal the HOMRA mark and the keys representing his ranking.

“This is my life!” he announced proudly.

Saruhiko smiled that smile— the wrong one, so different from the almost grimace he gave when he really meant it or the almost evil smirk that maybe wasn’t benevolent but lit his eyes up. It was a satisfied sneer that didn’t mean anything and didn’t reach his eyes with anything other than broken sanity. He rolled up his sleeve to reveal the HOMRA mark he burned at his wrist.

“This is all it means! It’s nothing. Your life is nothing!” he huffed.

Misaki grabbed him by the shirt to yell at him for what seemed like the millionth— he felt like his throat was raw sometimes but it was the only way to keep him sane. But a thought seeped into his mind from somewhere: maybe his spine or his chest but all he knew now was that he should pull the sleeve farther down. Quickly he grabbed the wrist and pulled the sleeve to see the keys. Saruhiko quickly grabbed it away and stood up from the couch to sneer down at him. Misaki looked up with fading anger, changing into frustration.

“What’s there?” he breathed.

“Our burned pride. Finally looking for something new are we?” Saruhiko’s wrong smile fixing itself. It didn’t look as strong this time.

Misaki looked away and back at the sleeve that now covered his entire arm again, even the burned mark. What just happened?

“Look at me!” Saruhiko snapped.

Misaki growled and shoved him. “Why should I, traitor?”

“You said you’d kill me, didn’t you? But that JUNGLE Niffin took that from you, huh? Poor Misaki, just can’t win.”

Misaki clenched his fist and swung at Saruhiko, a move dodged by the target.

“I see there’s some tension that needs resolving.”

Munakata’s voice caused both of them to jump. Neither had realized he’d entered the room.

“I’d advise against such violence,” Munakata looked pointedly at Saruhiko, “as it may interfere with our next experiment. We’ve decided a two-on-two squirmish would provide valuable data.”

Misaki let out a combination of a sigh and a laugh. Fine. Misaki looked up at Saruhiko

“Time to test whether your weak flame weighed down mine.”

But Saruhiko wasn’t listening.

“Two-on-two? Against…”

Munakata pushed up his glasses with a smirk.

“Awashima volunteered. And it seems Kusanagi has found the time to help with these trials.”

Misaki and Saruhiko blanched.

**Author's Note:**

> I have, like, no idea what to do from here. Anyway, I've seen a relative increase of continuing fics here, but it's been dying down again. So I've decided to try my hand in it. Let's hope for the best.


End file.
